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20 Strategies for Anxious Children - How to Help Kids With Anxiety

Updated: Jul 22, 2021

1. Take a deep breath with them.


Respiration and emotions are closely linked. Research suggests that breathing techniques can be used as a primary or supplemental treatment for anxiety, stress, and other emotional disorders (Jerath et al., 2015). The great things about using breathing techniques to treat anxiety are that it's free, easy, and simple. Although breathing exercises take time to practice and perfect, they pose no negative side effects and can be worked on anywhere and anytime. So, get your deep breathing on!


2. Teach your child that talking to a trusted friend or loved one is okay.


Talking to someone you trust can be therapeutic. While some find it hard to express emotions, it's much healthier to talk about your feelings. Suppressing your emotions for too long can lead to increased stress on top of the already present anxiety.


3. Help them get back to basics.


It's easy to let our personal hygiene go while suffering from daily anxiety or depression. In fact, research on major depression has confirmed that it is caused by an array of biopsychosocial and lifestyle factors (Lopresti, Hood, & Drummond, 2013). Thus, it can be said that poor lifestyle habits can even be a causal factor of depression. If you notice your child's hygiene suffering, make a schedule or fun game out of getting the basics done.


4. Try daily calming exercises.


Research "calming exercises for kids" and see if there is anything you think is worth trying. For example, you will find things like the 5 senses exercise. The 5 senses exercise is great at helping bring a child's awareness to the present and aims to take them out of their anxiety. To practice, have your child describe:

  • 5 objects they can see right now.

  • 4 objects they can feel or touch right now.

  • 3 things they can hear right now.

  • 2 things they can smell right now.

  • 1 thing they can taste right now.


5. Seek additional support.


If the child's anxiety starts to become so intense that it is impacting their daily functioning it may be a good idea to seek additional support. One good first step you could take is scheduling an appointment with your child's general practitioner to explain the situation. They may be able to refer you to programs or individuals that can help.


6. Encourage play, sports, or more activities outside.


Playing outside is related to more physical activity which is good for children's overall health. If the child has any outside-related phobias that are triggering their anxiety, it may be good to discuss exposure therapy with a mental health professional.


Click here to get rid of phobias. This post walks you through exposure therapy, so you can start helping your child overcome their anxiety today.


7. Practice the color visualization breathing method with them.


Steps to color breathing:


- Find a place where you won’t be distracted.

- Close your eyes.

- With your creative imagination, find a naturistic safe place. This could be a place you’ve visited in the past or want to visit in the future. Whatever makes you feel safest.

- Notice what the color of safety is for you. What color makes you feel so safe that if you wrapped yourself around it you would feel no fear?

- Bring that color in and move it through your entire body like a river. When your mind wanders, just bring it back to that healing color that you are breathing in.




8. Think things through together.


Many times anxiety can make you think of the worst possible scenario. Take a moment to really think things through. Describe all the possible outcomes and recognize what is most likely, not just the worst. Help your child make a list of all possible scenarios and show them positive possible outcomes.


9. Help them distinguish between real fears and unnecessary worrying.


Sometimes our fears are warranted. There are plenty of things that bring us anxiety in our daily lives, but when worrying starts to impair daily functioning it may be time to consider help.



10. Practice stopping intrusive thoughts together.


Thought stopping is a method in which you learn to stop having anxiety-provoking thoughts. I describe thought stopping at the 11:15 timestamp of this video:


11. Teach them not to suppress emotions.

Help your child accept that it's okay to feel anxious. Teach them that holding in and concealing your feelings will only make things harder to deal with in the long run.


12. Plan ahead.


If you know your child frequently experiences anxiety during a specific time or activity, then give yourself a few extra minutes to work through it.


13. Ask them to write down their thoughts.


Writing down what’s making you anxious gets it out of your head and can make it less daunting. Sometimes physically writing and reading your fears makes them seem less intense.


14. Try meditation/yoga with them.


I have personally tried yoga to deal with my anxiety and I don't think I will ever give it up. The simultaneous relaxation and fitness benefits it offers to keep me coming back week after week. I found this channel on YouTube that offers amazing follow-along videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWN2FPlvg9r-LnUyepH9IaQ


15. Try grounding exercises together.


Kati Morton has a wonderful psychology YouTube channel and here is a video on how to use grounding techniques from her:



16. Ask them to recite positive thoughts out loud in the mirror.



17. Encourage listening to or playing music.


Listening to your favorite music is usually the best option. However, here is a playlist that helps me: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ksy3Zso4vdt4JIzTYvpF9?si=586ed1b6782f44b3


18. Limit their social media exposure.


By carrying cell phones we have 24/7 access to the internet and the temptation and addiction that comes with it. A lot of mental health problems are due to overexposure to social media, especially for youths. Limiting time on social media is always healthy. You could try activating time limits on mobile apps on your child's phone.


19. Read them a book that makes them happy.


Setting aside time to read will make your child feel accomplished and help them to relieve stress. Let them pick a book they love or try introducing them to new books you think they'd enjoy. It's a valuable way to spend time, as well as calming exercise.


20. Consult your doctor.


Some signs it may be time to consult a professional about your child's anxiety:

  • They have difficulty controlling their worry.

  • They're impaired in their daily functioning.

  • Their fears are excessive and are out of proportion.

  • The anxiety is persistent (6 months or more).

 

References


Jerath, R., Crawford, M. W., Barnes, V. A., & Harden, K. (2015). Self-regulation of breathing as a primary treatment for anxiety. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 40(2), 107-115. doi:10.1007/s10484-015-9279-8


Lopresti, A. L., Hood, S. D., & Drummond, P. D. (2013). A review of lifestyle factors that contribute to important pathways associated with major DEPRESSION: Diet, sleep and exercise. Journal of Affective Disorders, 148(1), 12-27. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2013.01.014

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